Kid, You’re Excess

It’s sad, but it’s true. Children are surplus to our society. We’ve built a purely adolescent kingdom where anything that demands responsibility or effort and doesn’t offer immediate gratification is instantly dismissed as an unnecessary evil.

While it’s true that inflation and growing job insecurity make having children difficult today, the reality is that we’ve rarely been in a better material situation to have children than we are now. And never in history have we had fewer children. The problem lies in our hearts, in the twisted and evil way we’ve been taught that children are a burden, an obstacle to our grand plans and purposes.

We’ll talk another day about the reality that’s the exact opposite of what’s being sold to us: that children are an intrinsic and necessary part of God’s grand plans and purposes for us. For now, I want to focus on how children are considered superfluous in our lives, as harsh as that may sound. And no, I don’t want to speak to a sick society that discards children like luxury items from a barbaric age, I want to speak to a church that has bought into this broken narrative, to young children of God who sincerely believe they shouldn’t or don’t want to have children, and base their rebellion and downfall on that belief.

Our society bases goodness on self-entitlement, a fist in the air, and the pursuit of pleasure. There’s no reality beyond my reality, no good beyond the moment. The pinnacle of life is enjoyment, experiences, and the feeling of fitting in. Young people don’t want a family to carry on their legacy or maintain their business; they want a trip to Singapore, an electric car, and a massive social media following. In that lifestyle, children obviously don’t fit.

Let’s be honest, kids are noisy, rebellious, and messy. Not to mention incredibly expensive. You can easily spot families in a mall because there are kids screaming and parents freaking out. It’s no wonder that some restaurants and hotels are now child-free. We have more children than we need.

Unfortunately, that’s also the idea in our churches. Young people have been raised in a teenage society that hates responsibility and loves instant gratification. Sadly, the church hasn’t taught them the truth. As a result, our kids don’t want marriage, let alone children. Maybe when they’re ready to have kids, it will be too late.

But it gets even worse. Because young people aren’t the only ones who have gotten this wrong. Often, older people, who have forgotten what it was like to raise their own children, don’t appreciate the “inconvenience” of having kids in church. The truth is, kids don’t understand the importance of quiet moments of prayer or the solemnity of reading the Bible. For me, it’s a daily struggle to have a moment with my kids, reading the Bible, talking about God, and praying as a family, because that’s precisely when they decide to shout, jump, and argue. The reality is, kids are annoying.

This reminds me of the time the disciples tried to shoo away some children because they were bothering the Teacher, who was trying to do more important things than deal with a childish nuisance. Jesus’ response should resonate strongly in our hearts and churches: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14).

Children aren’t a hindrance to ministry; they are the ministry. Children aren’t an obstacle to fulfilling your dreams; they are a divine instrument for doing so. And the way we can understand this is by becoming like them: dependent, simple, and humble; by stopping focusing so much on our desires, pleasures, and rights, and instead focusing on those who need us. They need us to learn about the solemnity of reading the Bible and the discipline of the Lord, but we need them to learn to set aside our desires and serve others.  

No, children are not surplus. Children are necessary in society, as we’ll discuss another day. Children are necessary in the church, and there’s no sadder church than one without the laughter of playing children, even if they are disruptive. But there is someone who is indeed an excess in this equation, and Christ makes it very clear. He says not to prevent children from coming to him, because only those who are like them will enter the kingdom of heaven. In other words, there will be others who will be excluded, who are an excess. Who is an excess for Him? Those who are not like children, those, precisely, who try to exclude children because they are not important enough, because they are more trouble than they are worth.

So be careful when you say that children are surplus in society, in your life, or in the church. Be very careful, because the one who is truly an excess is someone with your attitude.

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